We live in an age dominated by meetings. Once upon a time those meetings were relevant, short and purposeful. Those days are gone. Now, most meetings are there to justify a colleague's position and/or to assist them in a forthcoming promotion opportunity. All this makes for a negative meetings culture. Morale is low, meetings are tedious, prolonged concentration is impossible. But do not be down-hearted! We have solved these problems at a stroke. Welcome to meetingbingo.co.uk!
HOW IT WORKS
Print out sufficient bingo cards for all 'game' delegates at a meeting or conference. Discretely distribute these so that the Chair of the meeting is oblivious (to prevent 'rigging' of games). Use a 'dobber' or thick felt tip pen to cross off the words and phrases from your card as they are used by the speaker(s). The first person to successfully cross off five words/phrase signifies this in the manner given at the top of the card. Ideally, they will then be offered a prize by the organiser (alcohol is often popular). You are advised to wait until the meeting is over before making the presentation.
Here's what just a few of our recent players had to say...
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Paul R., Nottingham
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- James B., Great Yarmouth
"What a gas! Things will never be the same for me after my first win. My boss has asked to see me personally for the first time in months. I think he wants to congratulate me! Cheers!"
- Owen L., Tenby
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLS**T!' for the second time in an hour." - Kathleen L., Belfast
"I feel that the game has enhanced the overall quality of meetings per se on a quid pro quo basis" - Jenny, Spondon
"People are now even listening to mumblers thanks to Meeting Bingo" - Mr. T Charles - Headteacher, Dundee
"Bonza! You could have cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump as we waited for the illusive fifth delivery" - Dale, Melbourne
Though most managers (slash leaders) see the motivational benefits of meeting bingo and applaud its use, others may, unreasonably in our view, give verbal warnings, written warnings, P45s or demotions to the organiser of the game (or "ringleaders" as they cumbersomly call them).
meetingbingo.co.uk is pleased to offer you our daily fasttrack to success tips. These should result in rapid promotion even in those devoid of a modicum of talent and in the absence of any work ethic. Trust us; they are tried and tested. Today's tip:
"Roll your shirt / blouse sleeves up. No matter how impossible a task is, cup your hands and rub them together as though you relish the challenge."
We'll have another one for you at the same time tomorrow. If you can't wait, just text "access tip" to 60300 and we'll beam another to your mobile instantly (for 25p)
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Copyright © 2006
Inspired by N.Bush.